“Women are better than men,” declared heartthrob Ryan Gosling. This statement has, for whatever reason, began trending across multiple social media platforms and have feminists of all walks cheering with glee as a young, attractive man decided to tear other men down so that women can stand tall on the pedestals of power.
The unwed father of two young girls has decided that men have had their day, and now that women are “stronger” and “more evolved” than men, the reigns of society should be handed over to the females. Apparently, Mr. Gosling believes that men should not only accept this transition, but should do so willingly because we deserve to be treated as unequal.
Not all of us will do so; nor should we.
I understand that feminists had the “separate, but equal” mentality, but there is truth to the idea. No, I do not subscribe to the doctrine of separate spheres—in which the home is a woman’s domain, and everywhere else is the man’s—but true equality begins when we understand that we have differences.
Men are biologically larger, stronger, and more physical. Whether by evolution or design, men are made for hard, physical labor. Not all men are larger than all women, but the general rule applies.
Women are biologically more capable of nurturing, which actually begins in-utero. It is the mother’s body that provides nourishment for a developing baby in the womb. It is the mother’s milk that nourishes the child after he/she is born. The intimacy of breastfeeding simply cannot be replicated by men.
There you have it. It is biology. It is science. It is nature that men are physical and women are nurturing. This also does not mean that either sex is “better” than the other.
Sure, men are better at certain things, but women are better at other things. Some women are better than some men at athletics, and some men are better than some women at raising a child. Just because there are exceptions, does not make the rule any less true.
In our “all or nothing” society, we tend to forget that even nature accounts for anomalies.
There is also the concept of intersectionality that we must consider. This idea basically boils down to “not all women” or “not all whites.” The experiences of women vary based on other characteristics, such as beauty, race, sexuality, or social class.
A gay black woman from the middle class has different experiences than a straight black woman from the lower class. A white lesbian schoolteacher has different experiences than a white lesbian business owner.
This is the problem with stereotypes—there are over six billion unique individuals with experiences that are not perfectly shared with anyone else. Thus, to say that half of those people are “better” than the other half—whichever side you choose—is ignorant and dangerous.
Moreover, to say that men deserve to be taken down a few notches as some sort of repayment of past ancestral patriarchy is just plain stupid. That’s like saying that white people should be slaves because our ancestors were on the other side of the experience.
Whatever you believe about patriarchy and “white privilege,” I think that the best way to have an egalitarian society is not to bring one side down to meet the other, but to bring both sides UP. Rather than berating masculinity, we should elevate femininity. Rather than firing white men from positions of power, we should create more positions for women and people of color.
We should also understand that it is our differences that make modern society function. This is the crux of Emile Durkheim’s concept of Organic Solidarity. Not everyone can be a mechanic, plumber, professional athlete, and CEO of a tech company. It is the specialization of society that allows us to worry about being good at a few things, rather than being competent in all.
The same logic can be applied to this seeming conflict between men and women. We do not, and should not have to be “better” at all things. It is okay to specialize. As a matter of fact, it is BETTER so specialize. Some men want to stay at home with their kids. Some women want to be a CEO. That is perfectly fine! It is also fine for a woman to want to stay at home while the husband works.
It does not matter whether the couple is straight, gay, lesbian, white, black, Hispanic, Asian, mixed race, polyamorous, monogamous, polygamous, married, co-habitating, dating, rich, poor, etc. ALL HUMAN BEINGS ARE DIFFERENT…but equal.