Social Media Responsibility

Most of us feel compelled to post only the “best” aspects of our lives on social media. Others post mostly the “worst”.
Those of us who present the “best” parts of ourselves on social media are not only seeking validation and praise, but are inadvertently harming others.
Those of us who present the “worst” are not only seeking validation and sympathy, but are inadvertently harming ourselves by perpetuating pain for temporary relief in the form of pity.
We constantly seek validation for our lives. We need to either feel praise or pity from the masses. We, as a society, are beginning to measure our self-worth based on “likes” or retweets.
I do my best to be honest with anyone who reads my posts. I do not seek sympathy or self-esteem. I view social media as a means to distribute information as quickly as possible to many people at once. Not every one of my posts are meant for you specifically, though I desire for those who do read what I write to know that they are not alone in their pain, passions, or pleasures. Not everything I write lands as well as I would like, and I accept that reality. That does not stop me from attempting to reach out, nor do I re-evaluate my own self worth if I receive zero “likes.”
We are complicated beings with a myriad of emotions and experiences and we can often feel like we are alone and isolated in our lives; like “no one understands” what we are going through at any given moment. We hop on Facebook to see how our friends and family are doing, only to see them living the “perfect” life filled with beautiful family photos and elaborate vacations.
We then internalize the envy we experience, because our lives are not perfect. We cannot afford to pay a professional photographer or go to the beach with the family. We are struggling to pay our bills, while our high school and college classmates appear to have everything going right.
This is why social media is dangerous in an age when most of us lack the ability to self-reflect. We should not covet the “perfect” lives of others. We also should not be prideful. The Bible warns of both of these extremes. Numerous academic studies have been warning of “social media depression” as suicidal feelings in kids younger than 13 has seen a 300+% increase over the last decade.
Adults are becoming more depressed, and our kids are attempting to kill themselves in near record numbers. As both producers and consumers of social media, we need to be more responsible. Seek validation from your immediate family or closest friends, not your extended social network. Most of all, understand that we are all intrinsically valuable and your life matters to someone who you personally interact with. Spend real time with those you love and who love you. You will benefit in ways you never thought possible.
Most importantly, develop a personal relationship with God. When you feel that no one else will be there for you, know that you have a heavenly Father who loves you and cares for you. He will make sure your basic needs are met, and He never leave or forsake you.
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An Ode to Suffering

One year ago from today, I was living in Las Vegas pursuing a Ph.D. while my wife was working her way up through the casino industry. She was beloved at work and was in line for a better position. We lived in a reasonable home with reliable transportation – we just took out a loan for our first “new” car (more likely gently used). Things were looking up, and the future was bright.

One year ago from next week, everything changed. I failed out of my Ph.D. program and began struggling to find work. We prayed about the situation, and felt very strongly that God wanted us to move back to Ohio. There is a casino here that Mandy could work at, and my retired parents were here to help with the kids. From there, everything fell into place for us. We were able to put together the funds to move, Mandy essentially had the job before interviewing. We miraculously found a place to live with the perfect combination of locations for cheap utilities, great schools, and proximity to family. I was able to find a job in the most amazing “circumstantial” way possible. My wife just happened to be at a party for my cousin who just happened to be marrying a man whose mother just happened to be the director of an agency who just happened to be looking for a male to do a job I was actually qualified for. Things were looking up, and the future was bright.

Seven months ago, everything was working out – now, I am not so sure.

Mandy did not feel comfortable at the casino and quit – which was financially devastating, but not everything is about money. Besides, she found another job that supplemented my income within a couple of weeks. However, that job also turned out to be a waste and they cut her hours until the point where she had to quit. It’s okay, we will survive. We made it this far. At least I have a job and we are around family.

My agency decided two months ago to completely restructure. They changed the name, logo, mission statement, personnel, and many of the policies and procedures that we have been operating on. The decline in employee morale across the board has been amazing. Very few people in my position are even mildly satisfied with these changes – in fact, the vast majority have become openly hostile and several have quit or are threatening to quit. It has been an unmitigated disaster.

Throughout the last year, we have also been struggling to find a church home and make interpersonal connections there. In Vegas, we had a great social network in a thriving church – but that church also changed many of their policies and we left even before moving across the country. In Ohio, we have visited several places and spent several months at one church where we failed to connect. It has been almost three months at our current church, and again we seem to be struggling.

Somewhere, there has been a disconnect. We went from thriving in church, in school, and at work to struggling everywhere. We are spiritually, socially, and financially in the worst place we have been in probably six or seven years. Bankruptcy is around the corner and we are just trying to meet our basic necessities at this point. We are going to have to give our second car back, all while Mandy needs monthly doctors appointments. I dread going to work every day to the point where I have begun to have panic attacks about once a month. Things do not seem to be looking up, and the future does not appear very bright.

The frustrating part of everything is that we are trying to stay motivated. I still read my Bible and pray to God every day. We go to church every week. We tithe even though it is difficult to do so. I keep asking for God to show me the path He wants me to walk, but I still feel like I am off of it. I feel like I was led to this job in this place, but now neither of them seem to be working out.

During a conversation with my wonderful wife, she pointed to the life of Job and the struggles that he went through. He was faithful without equal, and still suffered. Our losses cannot match his. He watched his children die. He lost his property and wealth. His wife’s advice was “curse God and die.” Job expressed frustration among his friends and vented his feelings. However, God revealed Himself to Job and restored everything Job had lost tenfold. Job’s patience in the midst of suffering brought glory to God, and he was rewarded in this life and the next for his faithfulness.

This is my hope now. I do not expect rewards here on earth, but I want to lay up treasures in heaven. I want to show the world that even when I am in poverty, I will remain faithful to my creator. Jesus Christ did not die on the cross so that I could be wealthy, but so that I could accept his free gift of salvation and spread the gospel. If I need to lose my home, my money, and my family to do so, then I suppose that is what will have to happen.

I understand that not all suffering is equal, and I am probably feeling stronger effects because I am presently in the storm. I acknowledge that there is always someone who has it worse than I do. In hindsight, what I am dealing with right now may be a blip on the radar in the full context of my life. I understand that I am blessed. I am blessed to have an amazing wife, children, and parents. I am blessed to have good friends. I am blessed to have food to eat, a roof over my head, and clothes on my back. I am blessed to be a child of the King. Like Job, I still need to vent.

All praise be to my Almighty God. Things are looking up, and the future is bright.

The True Freedom of Religion

A common meme from anti-Christians is that Christianity is a restrictive religion. Many modern churches have also begun to sing this refrain as they attempt to abandon “legalism,” which they mostly define as rigid rules put in place by churches on music and attire (this is not true legalism, but difference in preference as I wrote about here). The Bible is a book of negative liberties – it tells us what NOT to do, therefore, true freedom can only be found by abandoning organized religion.

This line of thinking is dangerously ignorant.

Most people fail to realize that the “fun” they have at social gatherings is not due to drinking or taking other substances, but from the social gathering itself. Sociologist Emile Durkheim called the euphoric feeling at a social event “collective effervescence.” He theorized that it was this very effervescence that formed the basis of religion as a social system. He believed that religion is the worship of the group, therefore, specific doctrine, rites, and rituals are irrelevant. What matters is that people do it together.

This effervescence transcends substances. The only necessary ingredient is having a group of people in the physical presence of others, and essentially performing the same ritual – whether that be prayer and worship at church or doing the wave at a football game.

Religious groups are incredibly fun, in that they enjoy the same effervescence that secular groups feel. It is euphoric to gather and get to know people with similar interests. The only “restrictions” at most Christian events are no drugs or alcohol, no nudity or sex, and not engaging in other taboos. Again, if fun is based on being social, those additional “freedoms” are unnecessary.

Notice I put “freedoms” in quotation marks. This is because I do not believe true freedom comes from the sins of secularism.

Go to any recovery group and ask the members there if drinking or doing drugs brings freedom. At Reformer’s Unanimous, the Faith-based recovery group I attend, we speak of addiction as bondage. You might be fortunate enough to not suffer from a substance addiction, but a huge number of people do. They will tell you that the urge to use supersedes basic life functioning. Addicts often struggle with depression and other mental health issues.

This is not freedom.

If you have fallen for the lies of the “free love” movement of the 1960s in which we should all have the “freedom” to engage in uninhibited sexual conquest and public nudity – would draw your attention to the recent allegations throughout the #metoo movement. This social movement was born the minute that we told men and women that sex outside of the confines of marriage comes without repercussions. We now have exceptionally high single-parent poverty, abuse of power through sexual assault, increases in sexually transmitted diseases, and contentious debates over “toxic masculinity” and our universities being bastions of “rape culture” manifested on campuses.

This is not freedom.

Furthermore, Cultural Marxists infesting the media, universities, and Leftist political parties constantly remind us that we are all oppressed in some way. Racial and ethnic minorities, women, Muslims, LGBT, the poor, the uneducated, children, adults, the mentally ill, etc. living in a Western, capitalist society are oppressed by our economic system. Those not living in a capitalist society are oppressed by economic colonialist nations. Unless you are a member of the white, patriarchal, bourgeoisie, you are oppressed.

Statistics show that many of those elitist bourgeoisie also face greater risk of suicide and stress related deadly diseases. Being a wealthy, white, male business owner is oppressed by health risks.

This is not freedom.

Far too many in society try to convince us that wealth, sexual promiscuity, drugs, alcohol, and constant partying are expressions of freedom. This is simply not true.

Is religion, particularly Christianity, also oppressive?

There are certain periods we can point to in which major atrocities have been committed in the name of religion. The Crusades and Inquisition are blights on “Christian” history, but these events are not based in true Christianity, rather, they are based on the evil acts of wicked people who happened to call themselves Christians.

True Christianity demands that we avoid dangerous behavior. We have plenty of evidence that “the wages of sin are death”, not just spiritually, but they often lead to an early and painful demise in this life. Diseases linked to drinking, drugs, and smoking cigarettes number in the hundreds of thousands (the majority come from smoking). Contracting an STD can be range from perpetually irritating to deadly.

What comes from behaving in a Christ-like fashion? Being ostracized from society from not being like them. Have any diseases been linked to any specifically Christian behavior? Are there any unhealthy Christian addictions? Do true Christians start wars? Starve citizens? Murder children? Rape women? Enslave minorities? Murder the innocent?

The answer is clearly no. Christianity does not oppress Christians or anyone else. True Christianity is freedom; not freedom to be enslaved by behavior, but from being enslaved by it.

If you want true freedom, turn to Jesus Christ.

Exposing the “Mental Health Crisis”

In sociology, mental health has long been viewed as a “social construction” like gender, race, etc. It is absolutely true in this case. Autism is new a “spectrum” that can be as wide as the mental health community wishes it to be. Homosexuality and transgenderism used to be afflictions that no longer appear in the DSM-V (the psychologists’ Bible for mental illnesses).

The United States of America is the most medicated society in the history of mankind. Do we really have a mental health crisis in which growing numbers of citizens are suffering from a mental illness, or are doctors and therapists merely prescribe more medication? I have always believed that the latter is the most likely answer, but my recent experiences have served to solidify that opinion.

I have been working as a mental health counselor in a local middle school for a few weeks now. It is a personally rewarding job, as helping kids overcome their social problems is an extremely important job. However, the unholy alliance of the education system, mental health industry, and government healthcare in the pockets of a private business has created an incredibly dangerous and destructive environment for our children.

My employer requires a minimum number of billable hours known as “productivity.” These hours are billed to Medicaid. The company needs to bill Medicaid so they can cover costs (payroll, rent, keeping the lights on, etc.) of doing business. I have to provide an average of 5 hours of productivity every day. I also need to have enough students on my caseload to meet those productivity standards. I share my caseload with a therapist who also has their own productivity numbers to meet.

Thus, a school therapist is incentivized to diagnose “enough” kids in the school to meet the productivity standards in order to bill Medicaid enough money to pay all of us.

The real consequence of this policy is an uptick in mental health diagnoses. I have already met with a number of students who have behavioral problems, not mental health problems. Most of them are on the “spectrum” – basically any kid who has trouble making friends ends up here. Several have been diagnosed with ADHD – any kid who has a hard time paying attention to boring teachers in classes that they don’t care about.

I have sat in public school classrooms. My clients are supposed to sit and exhibit ideal behavior while a half-dozen students who have not been diagnosed are acting like wild animals. My kids have “mental health” problems, but these other kids do not.

Many of my clients do not take prescribed medication because they say, “it makes me feel weird” or “I don’t feel like myself.” I completely understand this. In college, I read a paper about “the medicated self” which argues that those on anti-depressants are unsure which “self” is their true self.

Imagine being told that your “self” is not complete unless you are taking medication that basically turns you into a different person. This medicated “self” is the “good self”, while your natural existence is viewed as incomplete.

So we now have a group of students who are “mentally ill”, while other students who exhibit the same behavior are “mentally healthy.” One group is told that they need drugs to be complete, while the other is told they are whole. One group is diagnosed with “mental illnesses” whose definitions change over time, often due to social pressure from social justice lobbyists. One group needs to be diagnosed as mentally ill in order to keep therapists and CPSTs employed. One group is told they are incomplete, and we wonder why they grow up into adults who continue to exhibit mental health problems.

This does not even address the potential damage that a psychotropic drug can have when introduced to an otherwise healthy brain. Most people who are diagnosed have not had any sort of brain scan. An “expert” who sits in an office determines the brain chemistry of a client after a conversation or two – not an MRI or C/T scan, but a chat determines that neurons and synapses are not working properly –  and prescribes drugs to these individuals.

This is the reality of America’s “mental health crisis.” We are creating mental illness by redefining what makes someone ill and introducing brain chemistry altering drugs into potentially healthy brains.

**This is not to say that there are not legitimate cases of mental illness. I am merely saying that they are far less prevalent than we are led to believe.**

Many of our schools are filled with mental health workers who are incentivized to diagnose a certain number of students as mentally ill in order to fulfill arbitrary “productivity” standards.

It is my experience that the overwhelming similarity between clients is the lack of a two-parent household. Some poor kid who experiences abuse or abandonment in the home acts out at school to get attention to show that he has power somewhere. These kids do not have broken brains, they are victims of broken homes.

We must fix families. We must worry more about making these kids whole rather than meeting “productivity”. We must allow teachers and schools to deal with kids in a more effective way than slapping them with a mental health diagnosis that excuses bad behavior and will follow them for the rest of their lives.

We must stop telling our kids that they are not whole.

I would gladly sacrifice my job for the greater good. The “mental health crisis” needs to be discussed. We must shine a light on the dark corners of the mental health industry before it all gets worse.

If you are a mental health worker, do you agree or disagree? Where am I wrong? Where am I right? I would love to hear from you by either commenting on this post or you can email me at scornedchaos@hotmail.com.